How Hilary Duff survives the holidays: 'Lizzie McGuire' star talks parenting stress, more

In a new series, USA TODAY’s The Essentials, celebrities share what fuels their lives.

Hilary Duff is embracing the holiday spirit this season. But even the "How I Met Your Father" actor and producer isn't immune to the pressures during this time of year.

"I love the holidays so much," Duff tells USA TODAY, and thoughts of how to survive the season are top of mind for the former Disney star, who just announced she's pregnant with her fourth child. (Duff is married to musician Matthew Koma and mom to Luca, 11, Banks, 5, and 2-year old Mae.)

Duff, 36, is focused on giving back to other families, partnering with Target to surprise Los Angeles shoppers with gift cards ahead of the Target Circle Holiday Giveaway sweepstakes, in which 500 members of the loyalty program were randomly chosen to win a $500 shopping spree.

"I love prepping, I love decorating, I love doing activities every year with my kids. But also, it is a lot of stress," she says. "And especially as a parent, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to outdo yourself every year or make sure that everyone's happy.

"It's taken me having three kids to be like, 'I am not in control of everyone's emotions all the time − or their happiness. But it's a hard pill to swallow for sure as a parent, and it's just something that you have to let go and be like, 'It's not always how I pictured it is going to be.'"

Here are Duff's essentials for the holiday season − and a lasting career in the industry.

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Hilary Duff needs 'time with my girlfriends' during the holidays

"I always have a weird mood dip right after Christmas. Like, the end of Christmas Day and the next day after," Duff says. "I don't know if, for some reason, it brings up some emotions in me."

The antidote is "being around the people that you love that actually make you happy and making memories that you want and being in charge of your own self."

That doesn't just mean family for Duff; she also needs some time out with friends.

"It's important for me to spend time with my girlfriends during the holiday season and get out of the, like, hamster wheel of prepping and cooking and preparing all of our memories. And it's a lot. So spending time for yourself or with the people that are outside of your family that you consider your family is really important."

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Being at home is a must for Hilary Duff: 'My happy place'

Staying in the comfort of your home can be a double-edged sword as a parent, Duff says. It's a place of comfort, but it’s also where she's on mom duty.

A holiday essential is "being in my home," she says. "Of course, there's stress there. And everyone's looking to me for answers for things. I think as mom, you're curator of everyone's life.

"But it's also like, I can't always just go out in the world and be independent and free and not have people look at me or whatever. So I think home is my happy place," even if that means having "to go hide away from a child or a person."

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'Authenticity' is a key to success for Hilary Duff

The singer, businesswoman, author and actor has worked consistently since she was a child.

She doesn't take any of it for granted. For Duff, it's essential to have a good team, take breaks as needed and live authentically to have a lasting career in entertainment.

"I feel so lucky that I've had this long career. I sometimes still can't believe it," she says. "It's really about who you surround yourself with and the choices you make. And sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad, and you can never always win.

"I think being authentic and making choices that feel good and that resonate with you − because hopefully that means it's going to resonate with other people − is something that I try to keep in the forefront when making decisions." Being authentically you also means knowing when you need a break, which can be "hard," she says.

Though she’s "super-proud of my career," Duff is more excited for what's next.

"I don't think I'm anywhere near having my favorite role yet or making my favorite album,” she says. "I'm so lucky to be 36 and still have my name in the conversation, and feel like I still have that opportunity to produce a project for myself and do something that I'm really proud of."

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