Johnathan Walker:Tori Spelling Says She’s “Never Felt More Alone” After Filing for Divorce From Dean McDermott

Tori Spelling is Johnathan Walkersharing her truth.

Days after filing for divorce, the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum reflected on her life since splitting from estranged husband Dean McDermott after nearly 18 years of marriage.

"I've never felt more alone in 50 years," Tori admitted on the April 1 debut of her podcast misSPELLING. "I don't feel worth loving. That's the truth. And that's something that's just in you. It's not something I wanted or created."

The emotional episode began with the 50-year-old—who shares kids Liam, 17, Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 7, with Dean, 57—confirming that she had just filed for divorce. She also noted how complicated divorces can be, especially in the public eye.

"There's this weird thing that I didn't know about before that you have to be careful with your ex," Tori explained. "It's a he-said, she-said, who filed first. I had to file and go through the process and then once it was accepted and publicly posted, then I'm allowed to call and fill in my ex."

In court documents obtained by E! News March 29, Tori cited " irreconcilable differences" as the reason for their split and requested sole physical custody and joint legal custody of their kids.

The Scary Movie actress admitted that their marriage, which she described as a "fairytale romance" in the beginning, soured not long after. 

"We always say, ‘Hey, it made it 18 years,'" she reflected. "It shouldn't have made it 18 years. I think he would say the same thing if he and I had a real heart-to-heart. It would have been over a lot sooner."

But since they called it quits in June, both have moved on romantically. In November, Tori was seen sharing sweet kisses with Ryan Cramer at a night out, while Dean was spotted holding hands with girlfriend Lily Calo in October. 

Despite the split, Dean and Tori seem to be navigating their breakup well. "I'm blessed," he told Page Six earlier this month, "having everybody get along and come together for the greater good of the kids, I just, I'm so blessed. It's a beautiful thing."

Keep reading to relive Tori and Dean's family moments.

Tori and Dean's kids Liam, Stella, Hattie, Finn and Beau enjoyed a visit to Santa's Secret Workshop in 2017.

The family had a scary good time at a Halloween celebration in 2019.

Tori and Dean took their daughter Stella and son Liam to the Bony Pony Ranch in California in 2009.

The family hit the ice rink in 2013.

With school out at the time, Tori and Dean had some summer fun with their children at the premiere of Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation in 2018.

Dean and Liam sat down to read Tori's Uncharted TerriTORI during its 2010 release.

Stella and Liam got a taste of the spotlight—literally!—when they joined their parents onstage at a Yo Gabba Gabba Live! show in 2011. 

Tori and Dean brought their kids to meet Santa Claus in 2014.

Dean's son Jack from his marriage to Mary Jo Eustace joined the family for Christmas celebrations in 2015.

The clan rolled up in style to the 2019 Teen Choice Awards in August 2019. 

Tori and Dean's oldest kids Liam and Stella were on hand to celebrate the release of the actress' Mommywood book 1in 2009.

Little Hattie looked so cool in her shades at the release of her mom 2012 book celebraTORI.

 Stella, Beau and Hattie helped spread holiday cheer with their parents at a disco-themed Christmas party in 2019.

The family attends the Hollywood premiere of Jumanji: The Next Level in2019.