Current:Home > Invest'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -ProfitSphere Academy
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View
Date:2025-04-11 22:32:48
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (723)
Related
- Why we love Bear Pond Books, a ski town bookstore with a French bulldog 'Staff Pup'
- Sofia Richie Is Pregnant: Relive Her Love Story With Elliot Grainge
- He killed 8 coyotes defending his sheep. Meet Casper, 'People's Choice Pup' winner.
- Senate deal on border and Ukraine at risk of collapse as Trump pushes stronger measures
- Finally, good retirement news! Southwest pilots' plan is a bright spot, experts say
- A bear was killed by a hunter months after it captivated a Michigan neighborhood
- El Gringo — alleged drug lord suspected in murders of 3 journalists — captured in Ecuador
- Business Insider to lay off around 8% of employees in latest media job cuts
- Apple iOS 18.2: What to know about top features, including Genmoji, AI updates
- How Kobe Bryant Spread the Joy of Being a Girl Dad
Ranking
- Tree trimmer dead after getting caught in wood chipper at Florida town hall
- Who is Dave Canales? Carolina Panthers to hire head coach with Mexican-American heritage
- How niche brands got into your local supermarket
- Why Bachelor Nation's Susie Evans and Justin Glaze Decided to Finally Move Out of the Friend Zone
- Skins Game to make return to Thanksgiving week with a modern look
- Dry, sunny San Diego was hit with damaging floods. What's going on? Is it climate change?
- Artist who performed nude in 2010 Marina Abramovic exhibition sues MoMA over sexual assault claims
- South Dakota Senate OKs measure for work requirement to voter-passed Medicaid expansion
Recommendation
Dick Vitale announces he is cancer free: 'Santa Claus came early'
Four Las Vegas high school students plead not guilty to murder in deadly beating of schoolmate
Dry, sunny San Diego was hit with damaging floods. What's going on? Is it climate change?
Pawn Stars Host Rick Harrison’s Son Adam’s Cause of Death Revealed
Federal hiring is about to get the Trump treatment
Biden unveils nearly $5 billion in new infrastructure projects
Business Insider to lay off around 8% of employees in latest media job cuts
Scores of North Carolina sea turtles have died after being stunned by frigid temperatures